Saturday, March 28, 2009

Need A Major?

I personally didn't pick my major until the last day of finals during my spring semester of freshmen year. It was probably one of the hardest decisions of my life, but I finally ended up choosing English for a few reasons: I love to write, I love to read, and I love proofreading. I'm a minor grammar freak, so it's common for other students to e-mail me their papers in an attempt to get a better grade. It's what I want to do with my life, and I'm glad I finally realized it.

How will you pick your major?
Well don't worry too much, you don't really need to pick your major until the end of your sophomore year. You'll be taking a lot of general education classes if you're undecided, and that will help you pick out a major.

If you want to pick something before you move out to college, then just think about what classes you liked a lot or did very well with in high school. Also think about what clubs you were in. Think about what you love doing, and what you want to end up doing with your life.

They're like the greatest thing ever. Seriously. If you can get one while you're in high school, maybe working at a lawyer's office or your local bookstore during weekends, (even unpaid) anything that's specialized will give you a good idea of what you want to do.

Helpful links to picking a major:
How to Use the Internet to Choose a Major I found this site very helpful in showing you how to use the internet, as well as takes you step by step to a major.
MyMajor Someone recommended this site to me, and it is very helpful. I would really recommend it. Be careful because some of the links don't work.

What do you think is a good way to pick a major? If you have a major, how did you pick it?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

This about Sums Up My Life Goals

This is a little outside of what I normally do, it's kinda personal, but it's for So it's for a good cause. I really liked this question, and I feel like people should examine it more often. What a great idea to give your life a little more meaning than it already did. I think that marking anything off of this list will make me feel very accomplished.

Study a New Subject Every Year
Knowledge is power, and power is money? Currently I'm in college, so clearly that's different, but I like what I'm learning, and I will gladly go out of my way to learn more in the future, when I'm done with college.

Find My Soulmate and Marry Him
I think that everyone wants a happily ever after. I think I may have found my soulmate, and I think we both know it. Someday we'll marry each other. Right now . . . college.

Plant A Tree
Mostly because I want to watch it grow. I thought about getting a tree just so that like I can use that to mourn the loss of a good friend that died recently, but I always feel like it was too long ago. Days feel like years I guess, and it's only been a little over a month (I guess almost two now) Hmm. Well someday I will plant a tree in memorial of my very good friend who died on Flight 3407.

Get a Tattoo
I actually have been wanting one for awhile, but I never really had the guts to actually go through with it. I think now is a really good time for it because of everything that's happened.

Maybe a dragonfly carrying a rose? Very symbolic for me.

Teach my Future Children to be Yankee Fans.
I'm sorry for all of you out there that aren't Yankee fans. I guess you'll just have to not read this part?

The reason for this is because my whole family consists of Yankee fans. Growing up I always wondered if I would get kicked off my family tree if I cheered for anyone else. Once I was an Orioles fan just because I liked the word Orioles. That didn't work out well.

What do you wanna do with your life?


I thought it only fair to finally write something that's actually about college. So here ya go: transferring. Every student thinks about it, as well as most students look up other colleges. That doesn't mean that you have to transfer, or that you're definitely transferring.

It's just common, at least where I go to school at the great KC, for people to want to transfer. I do live in New York, so maybe it's just the cold? Who knows.

Here are some legit reasons to transfer:
  • You're not happy. It happens, what you CAN do when you're not happy though, is get involved in your campus community. I hear that helps. Correction: I know that helps.
  • You want to be closer / further away from home. This I can also understand. Sometimes you realize that going to school across the country is a bad idea. Such is life, it's not a big deal.
  • You can't afford it anymore. I'm actually going through this myself. My college is ridiculously expensive, but as I see it, I'm going to have to take out loans anyway. My parents basically hate me for that decision but whatever.
  • You need a bigger school. Or smaller. It's all in what you like, and it's good that you realize it.
  • You wanted a four year school. If you went to a tech school you had to have known that after two years you would need to either transfer or get a job. I personally would rather transfer, and stay in college as long as possible.
One thing that I've learned from friends and roommates transferring is that it's a lot a lot of work. Make sure that if you plan to transfer that you'll be happy, that you can afford it, and that it's perfect. Sometimes you make mistakes though, maybe you need to leave because of the people. Either way, make sure you go on a tour at the college of potential choice, as well as talk to the students, even sit in on a class.

What are your reasons for transferring?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

How to Deal With a Person Grieving

I think it's important to know a little something before you go off trying to give out sympathy. One thing I've learned is that no one really knows what to say, as well as no one knows how to deal with their (or anyone elses) grief. There is no good thing to say and no matter what it's still going to suck. It's pretty important to realize that people go through things differently, and just because you "send your condolences", doesn't mean we're going to be fine.

Another big thing is that when people try to make someone who is grieving feel better, they normally fail miserably. You cannot make anyone feel better, if you go to someone with those intents, you are setting yourself up for failure. Usually someone is thinking about it about 23.5 hours out of the day, so constant reminders are never going to help.

I've also learned that if you haven't dealt with something epically tragic, you're not going to have any idea how to deal with someone else dealing with it. It's not your fault, you just can't comprehend it, you're going to say what you think you should say, and you mean it as caring.

Here's what I've learned, as a person who's dealt with some pretty hard stuff lately, from watching people's reactions to me, and what works vs. what does not:

1. Never ever ever tell anyone you know exactly how they feel right now. You don't. You will never know exactly how anyone feels about anything, because you are a completely separate being. You could have a general idea, but you don't know. Even if the same thing happens to you, you'll never know exactly how someone feels about anything. So don't say it, it's offensive.

2. Don't say you're sorry for our loss. We know that. You saying it doesn't make it go away, it just opens up an awkward turtle situation. You can ask us how we're doing, or if we need anything. Or even better, think of what you should do to help and just do it anyway. We'll appreciate it eventually. Don't stop asking us if we're okay a few days after we receive horrible news either. We don't even know if we'll ever be able to smile again, please keep in touch if you really care.

3. Don't try to be the first person to call us after it happens. Odds are we're getting hundreds of calls and text messages and messages and facebook wall posts. We get it. Leave us something in our mailbox, who uses USPS anymore? It would show that you care, and that you are actually putting time towards it. Call us a few weeks later to make sure we're alright. Try to make us smile when you can.

4. Don't expect us to be okay. Don't expect this to go away in a few weeks, and don't you ever tell someone in mourning that you think they're depressed. Of COURSE they're depressed! It hurts! Every single day! Don't ask if we're okay, because we're not. We won't be for months. Try to understand that it's really hard to be upset, because everyone wants you to smile. It can take up to two years to fully recover from a loss.

5. We know that the person we lost wants us to be happy. We're not dumb. But if you died, wouldn't you want your love ones to mourn your departure? I don't think I would like it if I died and the next day every person I ever knew was fine. Of course no one wants to see their loved ones upset, but if it hasn't been even a month, we don't want you to tell us not to be upset.

6. Don't pressure us to talk about it. If we need to talk we'll talk. Don't try to make us talk to you, because maybe just maybe, we don't wanna talk to you. Maybe we're all talked out. We'll come to you if we want to talk to you. Be respectful of that. IF YOU DO want us to talk to you, and we come to you, try to make the time for us.

7. Don't make it about you. I know that sounds selfish, but we're the ones mourning. Just listen to us. We need to get out what we feel like saying, and odds are we don't want to hear about your boyfriend who fought with you this morning over what to wear. We came to you to talk about us, during a very hard time.

8. A good response is "I could never imagine what you're going through". No other comment needed.

9. If it's been less than a week, don't tell someone that everything happens for a reason. No one who is upset wants to hear that, unless we say it first. If you say that, then we'll think about what the reason is that this happened. No one wants to think about why a loved one was taken away from them.

10. If you don't know what to do, leave us alone. We're overwhelmed with a feeling of loss and confusion that we're not going to be able to fix anytime soon. We need to be alone sometimes to gather our thoughts and have a good cry. Don't take away our cries, everyone needs them once in awhile.

What do you think are good ways to deal with someone grieving?

When is it Okay?

All our lives we were told that lying is wrong. In church, home, school, with our friends . . . But we still all do it. Why? We were programmed at a super young age that we have to lie to get what we want, or to avoid getting in trouble. You say you're going to friend's house to finish a school project when you're really going to a rock concert that you think your parents won't approve.

You tell your significant other you're going to bed early when you're really out with someone else. Rather than break up with them, or save them this misery, you just keep it going, but lie. If they don't know it won't hurt them right?

What about when someone dies, or you are a week out of a three year relationship? You say you're okay, but you know you're not. You can't possibly be okay when such a huge change has come into your life when you didn't give permission ever . . . how is any of this fair?

When you have children, you're going to lie to them, and say that Santa is real, or the tooth fairy, and what does that teach our children when they finally figure it out?

When is it okay to lie?